A summer to be tested, create space, embody new... and why I wont be around as much as youre used to - When I Grow Up

A summer to be tested, create space, embody new... and why I wont be around as much as youre used to - When I Grow Up My kind, wise friend  Kari Chapin  made this postcard for me last year its been on my calendar ever since. (Coincidentally, Ill have Karis Grown Up Gigs interview + an exciting contest  up on the blog this Thursday). Last month, I was scrambling. I had signed a contract with creativeLIVE (which was literally a dream come true) to teach a course in September, and I had to cut the amount of private clients Id be working with this summer so I can create some time and space to give to prepping for the course. And just like that, my last private coaching spot was gone and I wasnt gonna have another one for 5 more months. Actually, there wouldnt be  any way to work with me during that time. I started the What if? game, fueled by panic and fear. What if I ran Career Camp again starting in June, even though the spring Career Camp wouldnt be over by then? What if I squeezed in  just one or two (or three!) more one-on-one clients to my summer schedule? What if I use the time to reshoot my video series, or write my book proposal, or write some guest posts, or start a podcast? I was thisclose to making a decision out of habit. This was my go-to frame of mind. Not a place of desperation, per se but one of limiting beliefs and underlying automatic commitments. Limiting beliefs is life coach speak for the things that we believe that limit us, and underlying automatic commitments is more life coach speak for the automatic but subconscious responses  we have to a situation. For as long as I can remember, both of those things, for me, were  Busy Equals Successful. Now, I know this isnt true. Being busy does  not mean that youre successful. I know this intellectually. Ive known it for years. And yes, its the path I continue to choose to go down. Finally, though, its sinking in. My word for 2014 is New. Not as in Make New Things (actually, I deemed 2014 The Year of No New Things). But as in a new way of making decisions, of treating myself and my business, of giving myself space. Ive been feeling the New-ness in other areas of my life, as Ive taken up an exercise and meditation practice and have started to not give in to my Vampire Voices that tell me that theres not enough time. Those voices have finally quieted, allowing me to say no more often, or take a yoga class mid-day, or wrap up by 5pm. Last month, I was being tested. I scrambled to put out a survey and asked, When would you be interested in attending Career Camp?I gave two options: June-August or September-November. My stomach sank when I read that 64% of the responders said theyd want to be a Camper from June to August. Could I do it?  Was I gonna scramble to run Career Camp again? Did I even want to? It wasnt until I heard myself talking to  my coach  (yes, life coaches need  life coaches!)  about it that I  recognized my old friend, Busy Equals Successful. I saw this situation for the test that it was. Instead of thinking, But I wont be able to help anyone for 5 whole months if I dont offer some way to work with me! I thought, These 5 months will culminate in 3 whole days of my best work that they can get for free! Instead of thinking, Lets squeeze in another round of Career Camp or more clients and just work through the pressure! I thought, Lets give my full attention to the Campers Im still working with, the 4 new clients who signed up to start working with me  as of May, and my creativeLIVE course. That led to yet another round of What if?s, but these felt powerful, exciting, and terrifying in that way that I love. What if, instead of scheduling my posts and emails a month in advance, I spent the summer only writing and emailing when I have something organic to say? What if I take off for the rest of September once the course has wrapped, and seriously plan on doing nothing business related for 3 whole weeks? What if I dont plan on  writing a book proposal or starting a podcast or blah blah blah this summer, but instead just leave space for that stuff and see what I  feel like doing, if anything? What if I take off what I have planned for September to December off the calendar, and just see what comes up after I have some time to breathe? What if I lift the burden of being tied to social media, and take the pressure off of having to be active on Facebook and Twitter all the time? So, Ive decided to take the test and see. Im going to really, fully embody this New way of working / doing / being  and thats going to mean Space. Quiet. The Unknown. Stepping Away. All I know right now is that Ill put up the remaining Grown Up Gigs interviews every Thursday until the end of June and that Ill be back on the regular starting mid-August. Until then? I  really wanna  ace my test. Its a test of my control. Of doing All The Things. Of not falling into The Busy Trap. Of trusting (it always boils down to trust!)  that Creating Space Will Let the Good Things In. Wanna join me in taking the summer to test those limiting beliefs of yours? Comment below on what you wanna challenge and how youre gonna do it, and we can be excited/nervous together!